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Front Page |
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About |
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Check out our contributors***p page by clicking here or at the menu up top! |
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Georgetown Heckler Statement of Solidarity |
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Heckler Staff |
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Content warning: racism, racist violence, police brutality, racism at Georgetown To the members of the Georgetown Community, The Heckler, like much of the Georgetown comedy sphere, has historically been a space filled predominantly with white men and their voices. Our lack of diversity and failure to create an environment of respect and inclusion has resulted [&h****ip;] |
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Op-Ed: I’m Extra s***ually Deprived So Please Stop Sitting in Front of Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe in Your “Mississippi Burning” Poster |
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Edith Bulwer Lytton |
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Listen. I know it won the Academy Award for best cinematography in 1989. I get that. But I haven’t felt the warmth of another person in months. You must understand what a bespectacled Willem Dafoe is doing to my body right now. It has been lauded by many as a landmark civil rights film told [&h****ip;] |
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Zoom FAQ: Is Your Professor A Freak Or Do They Just Have A Dog? |
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Alfred Conkling Coxe Jr. |
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Uh oh. There’s a leash and dog collar on the wall behind your professor during your Zoom meeting, and that can only mean one of two things: either they have a dog, or they’re a complete freak in the bedroom. How is one to know? Well, rest a***ured: just take this quick quiz to find [&h****ip;] |
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Whew: 5 Polite Ways to Let Family Members Know It’s Time to Open a Window |
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Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar |
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Let’s be real. We are all guilty of skipping a sudsing every once in a while, but on occasion our loved ones let personal hygiene slide too far. Here are some strategies to help you gently let a relative know that it is time to open a window! Lead by example Lament that you feel [&h****ip;] |
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Mac McClung is Gone, Who Else Will Kiss My Girlfriend While I Watch? |
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The Sisters Fitzroy |
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Finance major, Derek Crewson (MSB ‘21) bemoans the loss of the Georgetown Basketball Team’s star player just like the rest of the university. However for Crewson, he is sad for a different reason than most. “He really made my girlfriend, Alexa (COL ‘23), so happy,” explained Crewson. “She is just naturally very attracted to dudes [&h****ip;] |
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Woman Steps Forward, Backward in Instagram Boomerang |
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Theophilus Parsons |
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TAMPA, FLORIDA – Local woman Beth Chowder took the internet by storm last Tuesday after posting a social update for her friends to Instagram Stories, featuring Beth in the foreground, stepping forward, then backwards, on what looked to be an exterior street. A source close to Chowder reached out to The Heckler: “it wasn’t so [&h****ip;] |
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How to p**** on Zoom Without Your Cla***mates Knowing |
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Henrietta Chesterfield |
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Here at The Georgetown Heckler, we are dedicated to making the transition to Zoom cla***es as easy as possible. To aid in this s***ft, we have done some testing and determined the best ways to covertly use the restroom while in a Zoom call. Below, we have laid out a guide for “instructional conti-poo-ity.” Use [&h****ip;] |
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Greek Yogurt Self-Conscious About Water on Top |
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Mary Elliot Murray Kynynmound |
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SCIENCE –According to chobanipropoganda.gov, that watery substance atop your Greek yogurt isn’t water at all. The liquid is actually whey, a protein that naturally separates out of dairy products. Everytime someone cracks open a fresh tub of f***é and says, “Ew why is there always water on top,” not only are they wrong, they are [&h****ip;] |
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